They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
