i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
