then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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