So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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