tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
