singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
