I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
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The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
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Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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