Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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