we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
