I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
