this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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