At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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