my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
We got so high we made milksteak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize