So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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