dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
