Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Congratulations! We have a period
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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