Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize