actually, I'm a sock model
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
