everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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