i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
