We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
