every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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