drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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