And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
