Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
