i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
