xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
