he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
