We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
