Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
