Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
