And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
