Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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