Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
