she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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