His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Come see our sink grown plant.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
