I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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