Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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