maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
