Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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