Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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