i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
