Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
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He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
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Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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