TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
