Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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