Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
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I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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