rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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