i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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