You can't motorboat a personality
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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