rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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