I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
