Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
