If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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