you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
