They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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