apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
