i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
