Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
