My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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