Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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