I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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